Last week, I did a deep dive into my experience as a perfectionist with my crafting. Once I began to identify the habits I had developed as a perfectionist, I also began to recognize how those habits were actually holding me back and I began coming up with ways to counter those habits.
I still start projects with a level of enthusiasm that rivals kids opening presents on Christmas or their birthdays. I still shop for craft supplies like it’s my job. I still do all the research possible into how to do certain things and how long something might take to complete.
I still get hung up on seemingly simple steps. However, I have actively spent a lot of time trying to work past those (or thru) those steps. Sometimes, I will end up making things 2 or 3 times. Sometimes, I’ll dismantle a project to undo the step that I’m not sure about and then try again. I still hate wasting my time but I’m happier with the result in the end.
I have a great example of this from a few months ago. I was working on an amigurumi pattern. I had completed all of the parts individually and began assembling them. I had been so proud of all of the work that I had put in. But putting all that work only to have final project assembled only to be disappointed in the floppiness of the parts was such a huge source of de-motivation, it took a month or so before I was ready to start over and try again. Currently, I am at the step of assembling a 2nd amigurumi and I’m so nervous that I will fail again. I made some changes to my pattern, and I’ve looked up and reviewed a couple of videos of how to attach pieces so that the seams look better AND how to stuff amigurumi better to minimize the floppiness.
I am also looking at starting to make some more jewelry. I have a specific construction method that I trying to learn and I’m terrified to start. I’m afraid of wasting my materials because they are precious. I am afraid that I won’t be able to understand it. I’m afraid that it won’t be as beautiful as it looks in pictures.
However, I will be working on this craft until I understand it. I may make 5 different versions of the same thing while I learn how to have the right tension and the best way to start and finish the craft project. I may try a couple different types of materials. I may try a couple different patterns. BUT, the key part of this is that I am trying. I will not let the fear of failure interrupt my quest for a finished product. I will not let the risk of failure derail my desire for understanding and learning the best technique.
I definitely believe that this is one of those situations where you’ll never be “cured” and there is no magic answer to not allowing these habits to creep into your everyday life. This will likely be a lifelong process and my biggest regret in addressing all of these issues, is simply that I didn’t do it sooner. I think back to all the time that I wasted on perceived failures in crafting. But just the fact that I am able to push thru now, has been a huge step forward for me.
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